Welcome to SAM's House of Jiras

What is SHOJ? It started as an email. Then, when we started using MatterMost a lot, I made it a channel.

If you like consistency, you will not like SHOJ. SHOJ is both omnipotent and dysfunctional. We mainly sell weird items, think Ronco or K-Tel. But we also have a tech company (Quasitech), a bank, and dabble in foreign affairs. We are known by all the global leaders, who call upon us for help sometimes; like security at the Queen's Funeral, or overthrowing a government.

But SHOJ is also continuously broke. Every time we make money, we blow it on something stupid. Think Jeff Foxworthy redneck, not real redneck. We are always looking for money for another case of beer.

So, feel free to post. You can claim SHOJ is involved in almost anything.

If you feel that SHOJ is too silly, feel free to leave the channel. I realize it is not for everybody and will not be offended.

Update 2026: SHOJ has reached a critical mass and is no longer in my control. It is now less about SHOJ and more a safe space to post jokes and comments to like minded people that you might not be willing to post on Off-Topic and the entire company.

Q & A

Q: Why is the website so ugly?
A: Thank you. We are trying to go for a geocities look, just without the glaring colours and minimal animated gifs. We, of course, have the obligatory "Under Construction". And it is Marc Perron approved.

Q: What is up with the ISO9001 image?
A: SHOJ has declared itself self-certifying in *all* standards. This is SHOJ ISO9001 certificate. No standards body is willing to go up against SHOJ.

Q: Why are the operators sitting by?
A: Because we care about our operators! Here is the original quote:
"Order yours today! Operators are standing by... well, actually they are sitting. Why would they stand all day to answer the phone?"

Q: Why all the talk about mauls?
A: That is really not associated with SHOJ, but I will still answer. I can't remember when I recommended the maul to answer an MM question. I wanted a very blunt instrument, but a sledgehammer was too obvious. So I went with maul... and it went viral (on QNX MM at least).